Look daaarling, an art showing/auction today upstairs (BEST SUNRISES OF 2021) in the surf club! How delightful! We must go up the inside stairs, through the men’s showers, oh dear. Look there’s Swanbourne Sam, mighty fine specimen, I heard that about Perth men. Avert your eyes, Murray is showing off his water skills again. Look Stirling and Sarge are lathering up, do behave!
Well bugger me, there is actually grog here, pretty good for 8am. Where is my champers daaarling? I reckon Capless and Drinksy are behind all this. Two of the best deviants I’ve ever met.
Queue background music - https://youtu.be/90h2gLgTz5g
Darlings, there you are. How is the Bollinger? Yes I know its frightfully hard to get at the moment with those bloody frogs cracking down on us. A bit of goose liver for you, snuck this one up from Tasmania, not really kosher, watch out Lainey might be onto us avoiding the EU.
Let’s check out the action (and a few of the paintings as well....
EXHIBIT ONE - The Garden of Ocean Delights, 25 March 6:48am
Roger over there is the one to watch out for once the auction starts, spreads rumours that he was on Hey Hey you know. Designs a couple of T-Shirts and a Tea towel collection for old Castro and he thinks he a shoe in for the Moaning Lisa picture. I’m going to outbid him even if I have to sell the Harley.
EXHIBIT TWO - The Creation of Manly, 27 April 6:27am
Look daaarling, here’s the latest Pitch Report from this morning on the noticeboard, written by the charming and enchanting curators.
Rusty and Caroline’s Pitch Report
Action at the point today, cuttlefish, big smooth ray, highway blues. Flat, not a breath of breeze. 16.9 degrees on the chalkboard, don’t they do a great job those Chalkies every day! Liam says clarity somewhere between perfect and good. Saw a PJ hanging with a ray mid swim. Great day for a double dose for Pete and Cameron. Summer is definitely here. Don’t want to sell too hard, not ready for crowds. Tried the oat milk double shot latte, highly recommended. Having a mental health day today, thanks Gerry.
EXHIBIT THREE - Bonfire of the Beach, 11 May 6:32am
Poor old Elizabeth, anyone would think she’s been locked down in Lane Cove for the past 3 months. Can’t get her off the bar. I notice the odd very long Covid swim. Daaarlings, she’s one to watch this morning!
EXHIBIT FOUR - The Persistence of Manly, 1 June 6:38am
What about that ghastly Steve, aka Dodgy Ticker, hey? Drunk the bar dry of Grange. Bloke doesn’t normally even surface for one of our lovely sunrises. More money than sense, might have to spike his drink, or get in his will…?
EXHIBIT FIVE - The Swim, 10 June 6:51am
Anywho daaarling, there is a real young up and coming artist featuring today. Yes, the one in the Turtle swimmers and fluffy pink uggs. That one next her I’ve seen before, Zig Zag they call her, she keeps running into me at the point.
EXHIBIT SIX - The Sunrise Watch, 18 June 6:34am
This swim stuff is working wonders for my muscles. Couple of weeks I’ll be bendy like Madonna, daaarling. Then I’ll be able to kiss my own arse from both directions. Oh look is that the divine David Panton, back from the Brownlows, surrounded by his harem? Yummy!
EXHIBIT SEVEN - Manly Gothic, 14 July 6:56am
Who let these Masters of the Universe in any way? Ghastly fellows! One of them is actually an auditor you know, doesn’t get much worse! Pretty sure the one missing today is up in Byron checking out property, the other one chasing the girls around Bobbin Head.
EXHIBIT EIGHT - Whistler’s BnB, 19 July 6:49am
Is that Chippo tramping around taking the credit as always for such a glamorous event! Did you know he’s a gynaecologist? I hate gynaecologists! A man who can look you in the vagina, but never in the eye!
EXHIBIT NINE - Impression Sunrise, 1 August 6:46am
What’s that? The chalkies? Yeah they could do with a good picture on the walls to remind them that it’s not all about blackboards in the classroom any more. Might ask Drinksy to see if we can slip him a fiver or something appealing to get Guy an inside running.
EXHIBIT TEN - Portrait of Madame Manly, 21 August 6:28am
What the hell is the difference between a painting done by a person who wishes to paint like a child, and a child’s painting? Very deep darling! Check out the English Rusty over there, he scrubs up well when he’s not in his G-string.
EXHIBIT ELEVEN - The Birth of Manly, 4 September 6:09am
What a banger sunrise! But what about you? Not one bloody boyfriend in the whole time that I’ve known you! I mean, you’re not that bloody ugly! What’s the matter with you? Huh? Have you read that Karma Sutra I gave you? I love it!
EXHIBIT TWELVE - Pièce de Résistance! Manly Lisa, 10 September 5:51am
So here we are at the end, I’m having heart palpitations just thinking about which sunrise is best.
They want us to comment with our favourite one…either on Facebook or down on the blog.
Mmm I like that there are prizes. First prize is dinner with Simon Phin! How wonderful daaarling! Second prize is 2 dinners with Simon, delicious daaarling! If I write some raunchy comments, will I get dessert with Trooper as well?
Thanks for the Swim Team, don’t forget to comment on which one is your favourite sunrise of the Year.
Carolinebythebeach & Rusty The Fish
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